It’s incredible how fast time flies – July is almost over, August is around the corner, and I’ll be starting my final year of high school in less than two months. Thus, I’m keeping in mind that every minute in my workday is precious, and soon I’ll be surrounded by schoolwork again.
A few days ago, I was complaining about college essays. I didn’t think I was going to any fantastic ideas to write about. As a result, I used this excuse to procrastinate on generating topics, which would drive me closer to my goals. However, I realized that if I thought hard enough about my daily experiences as well as notable memories from the past few years, I could ponder some interesting themes revolving them, including perseverance, hard work, self-reliance, and independence. In fact, time used worrying is time wasted. I started drafting my Cornell supplementals yesterday, and although my ideas were jumbled, it was progress nonetheless. My goal is to finish most (more than half, at least) of my college essays, including my personal statement, before the start of school. That way, I’ll have some time to chill and place some finishing touches on my essays.
Interestingly enough, I sought out opportunities to socialize after the ACT. Many are going to college in August, and I figured it would be a wonderful time to catch up with them before they head off. Also, due to rehearsals for a kids summer camp (in August), I talked with a lot more people at church than ever before.
As this month progressed, I realized I had this biased, preconceived notion that because I did STEM competitions or liked certain “cliquey” subjects, I couldn’t connect with “normal” people. After freshman year, the amount of people I hung out with slowly but surely declined. I decided that I would be “focused” on school and competitions; as a result, I thought I needed to sacrifice my social life entirely. But when junior year came along, my isolation hit a peak. I was reluctant to talk to anyone whose interests weren’t aligned with mine, which was about most people ran into.
I was frustrated when I realized that I had a really small subset of people that I could connect to. I wasn’t the all-out party guy or the comedian, but I also wasn’t the completely nerdy computer guy who’s locked up in a room coding up an app all day. As with most people, I found myself in the middle. When I was at church, at school, or even in math club, I eventually adapted myself into an overly self-conscious figure.
Admittedly, I’ve seen a lot of people do that. But does it mean that since you’re a “math kid” or want to qualify for X, you’ll isolate yourself and go out on the all-out-grind?
I don’t think so.
My mom was right about that. Everyone is unique, and there’s no reason why, if you’re a mathlete, you shouldn’t be talking to non-mathletes. Work is independent from your connections and relationships. Your quality of work is important, but too much focus on work can lead you down the road to being a workaholic and an obsessed materialistic mindset. The world may value achievements, but I must claim that an excessive amount of focus on wealth isn’t good for your health. And if you don’t have health, achievements will mean absolutely nothing to you.
This month, I rekindled a part of myself. I believe that for most people, occasional isolation can be helpful if you want to get stuff done, but it shouldn’t become a lifestyle or a habit. If you want to make memories, go out and meet people. At my bible study barbeque, it wasn’t too bad to talk about things randomly, even if they have nothing to do with your work. The reason why some people didn’t want to talk to me was because I never put any effort towards it.
In some cases, people can just be salty or mean and treat you unkindly. It’s best to forgive them and walk away in those situations.
But in other cases, it may not be the other people’s fault. In fact, you may be holding yourself back. You may be, for no reason, the obstacle.
If it’s may be a conscious choice you’re making deep inside that’s holding you back, fix it. If you think you can’t connect with others outside of your work circle, stop that, because it isn’t true. If you think it’s always other people’s fault, think about your own behavior first.
In most social situations, people are friendly and want to meet you. What you get out of them is essentially your reflection.